Today I am 56. It feels old. It's closer to 60 than last year.
Do I feel more aches and pains? What do I do with this letter from my pension company asking me do I still want to retire at 60 (yes, if not sooner)? Am I getting greyer and more lined? Am I too old for barrel leg trousers?
My oldest child is now at university (yet still somehow cannot lift his own pants from the floor) and my baby is now 16.
It also feels odd because neither of my parents are still alive. Nor my lovely Aunt Mo. And for some reason this year I feel that loss more. My circle feels smaller somehow.
I have got some lovely presents, and messages and cards but for some reason this year I feel older.
I see lots of advice on social media on resetting your life and indeed I look at some people who really embrace lift, live every moment and I kinda want to be that person, but by the end of a day in work I also want to be the person who walks the dog, wipes down the kitchen and reads a book before going to bed.
I think as you get older you get more accepting of yourself. You know the parts of you that can shine and the parts of you that you prefer to keep hidden. I'm not saying that you don't want to change as you age (ugh what a terrible way to describe it!), perhaps more that you have a surer footing and need to change less, you're more take me as you find me.
Anyway. I'm 56 today. Let's make the most of it!
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