- Elizabeth H
- Started the blog when I was a reluctant stay at home mum of two, now back at work and life is even more crazy! This blog is about combining work, home and everything else. I've two kids (aged five and three), youngest has Downs Syndrome, have one partner and no pets (the smelly goldfish went to the big bowl in the sky!)
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
In a minute
Recently I have heard myself saying this ALL THE TIME. So much so I'm actually annoying myself. But I am also wondering if my children ask me stuff excessively!
At the minute we have Toby coming to tell me 'Beebies all gone'. On the one hand this is fantastic in terms of his development; he knows the tv (cbeebies) has gone off, he knows to come and tell me, he is able to say the words and he knows that I will be able to turn it back on for him. Sometimes he even brings the remote with him! But I still find myself saying "in a minute".
Rowan then ramps it up to Olympic levels with what seem like incessant requests for drinks, snacks, for me to help him with things or play with him. None of these are unreasonable requests but they just seem to come at the wrong time - when I'm trying to tidy up, make dinner or just have a few minutes reading. So I tell him 'in a minute'. And then the other day he said 'You always say that'. And I was stopped in my tracks.
And the most annoying part for me is quite often I'm not really doing anything important but my inner selfish person just doesn't want to do it. And part of me thinks that children shouldn't expect adults to do everything for them, but when his wee face is pleading with me to play Zoo Am I for what seems like the millionth time, then it's hard to say no.
So in the spirit of new year, new me, new resolutions I decided to try and be a better mum. So sometimes I try and explain that I am busy and that's why I can't do it for him, sometimes I drop whatever I am doing (messing on the ipad mostly) and do what he's asking me to and sometimes I agree to play Zoo Am I again, but work with him to negotiate how many times we will play it and agree that four rounds of it is PLENTY!!
I also decided to try and be more spontaneous, so last week just before tea I said we were going to do something fun just the two of us, he wasn't keen initially but I persisted and after dinner we went down to the BBC stargazing event. We got to look through two telescopes and some binoculars, and talk to an astronomer and see a laser pen pointed onto Jupiter and see it and the moon close up. And he really loved it, even though it was cold and we had to wait around for our turn for while. And I felt great that we had done something we wouldn't normally do and we might not get to do again. I've since found out that this - intensive one on one stuff with your child - is called lovebombing. You can read the book here.
What do you think? Do you tell your children 'in a minute' or jump to do what they're asking? Where's the happy medium?